Kids Need Families and Families Need Support

Adoption Myth #1

"It takes seven years or more to adopt a child in Ontario."

Sign up for our Newsletter!

For news about adoption and
adoption related events. 

Sign Up Today!

* required

*

*

*



Email & Social Media Marketing by VerticalResponse

 

Upcoming Events

«

May 2016

»
S M T W T F S
1
6
7
8
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31

 

Adoption Blog

Khoya – An Adoption Story

This June, Khoya, a feature film about a Canadian man who travels to rural India in search of his birth family will be playing at Rainbow Cinema in Toronto.

Though the feature is not based on a true story, the themes and challenges it explores come from a real place. Sami Khan, the writer/director of this feature has a personal tie to adoption. A few years ago his mother disclosed to him that when she was very young she had to place a child born to her for adoption, and had been keeping it a secret for over 30 years. As Sami thought about reconnecting with his brother, the first iterations of the film came out.

Since then he has been able to begin to build a relationship with his brother, an overwhelming but ultimately worthwhile experience. It has also helped him to begin to understand his mother in a new way, bringing them closer than ever before.

We asked Sami what the take away of Khoya would be for the adoption community, and he says that he wants people to see the film and feel less alone. As a reader and a film watcher from a young age, he understands the importance of being able to identity with characters who are dealing with the same struggles as ourselves, so the world doesn’t feel as big and scary.

Some of the ACO staff will be at the evening premier of Khoya on June 10th and we hope that you will join us (there is rumor of food). You can buy advance tickets here.

Watch the Trailer

Website Facebook Twitter

Don't want to miss a post? 

Facebook Twitter


Sign up for our newsletter for news about adoption and adoption related events. 

Sign Up Today!





Email & Social Media Marketing by VerticalResponse

 

If you would like to be a guest blogger, please contact us at info@adoption.on.ca.

Posted: May 27, 2016 at 07:00 AM
By: Communications Coordinator
(0) Comment/s | Categories: Adoptees Adoption in the News Events
International Day Against Homophobia

Child's drawing of themselves with two male presenting parental figures.May 17th is International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. Today, we shout out our praise for the many LBGTQ+ individuals and families who are also members of adoptive families. YES – LGBTQ+ parents can adopt! Attracting different kinds of families, who bring unique strengths and experiences to their parenting journey, helps us to build a strong adoption community, capable of meeting the diverse needs of the children in our care systems.

We want you to meet one of these families, so we asked Silmar and Daniel to tell us a little bit more about their experience of adopting and parenting as a same-sex couple.


Voir ce post en français. Traduit par Silmar et Daniel .

What influenced your decision to come to parenthood through adoption? 

You have to be really honest with yourself in understanding how much your life will change once you have children.

We spoke of kids on our first date. Although surreal to some, it was a relief to meet someone with similar family values. When the time was right, we did a lot of research about how we could accomplish that. Being a same sex couple (and one of us being an adoptee himself), adoption just felt natural.

What lead you to choose adoption through the public system?

We tried everything. After extensive research, using a surrogate was too expensive and brought up a lot of uncertainties. We sought out information on international adoption and discovered, at that time, that same-sex couples were not allowed. Therefore, we decided to go with domestic adoption. We also tried to adopt privately but it was public adoption that worked out for us.

What is special/unique about adoption?

Because one of us is an adoptee himself, that alone makes it a very special situation for us. My partner had only positive outcomes in life due to the love provided from his family to the point that he forgets that he is adopted. Our kids will be provided with a survival kit by an adoptee himself, which helps. The uniqueness of adoption starts on the true desire to have a child. Although some people might consider it corny, a child who’s adopted is indeed “chosen”. We truly believe that blood is not all that matters in a family, but the affinity and spiritual connections amongst the individuals who truly want that connection. And yes, we also believe there is some sort of spirituality in play.

Do you think being a same-sex couple affected how you experienced the adoption process?

Because we are a same-sex couple, being non-traditional is just an understatement: watching our children grow valuing diversity, and us becoming advocates for adoption ourselves, is really rewarding.

Yes and no. We ended up realizing that although we were not a first choice to some faith-based agencies, we were fairly accepted by them when we showed interest. We were simply not a match for other reasons. On another hand,
we had to learn not to be hard on ourselves. In the beginning we would rule ourselves out even before speaking to workers, simply because we are a same-sex couple.

One thing we learned about adoption is: let the agencies rule you out. You might miss an opportunity of a lifetime. It hurts hearing “no’s” but the reason behind it might be much deeper than just being a same-sex couple. Most workers know what they are doing when they match a family to a child. Being a same-sex couple is not an immediate reason not to be considered as a match for a child. On the contrary, there are a lot of biological families out there wanting their kids to be adopted by same-sex couples (our second adoption fell in that category).

What have you found most challenging/rewarding about parenting through adoption?

The biggest challenge for adoptive parents is to stop fantasizing the process and realize the hard work of what is yet to come. No relationship, regardless of sexual orientation, is an omnipotent vessel to sail the seas of adoption without rough waves and undertows. There will be a bit of sinking and it will feel sometimes that only one person in that vessel is scooping water out. Only as a couple you will successfully throw overboard what is making you sink and concentrate on what will work. The family will eventually weather the storm.

On that note, we had a lot of uncertainties regarding our own relationship during the first 6 months of our first adoption. When the hardships passed, we immediately went for our second adoption. It was the best decision we ever made.

As for rewards, what can we say that hasn’t been already written in great stories about parenting? It is family making at its best, with its perfections and imperfections. Because we are a same-sex couple, being non-traditional is just an understatement: watching our children grow valuing diversity, and us becoming advocates for adoption ourselves, is really rewarding.

Do you think being a same-sex couple has affected your parenting experience?

Extremely. Besides the reality that parenting is different for everyone, we researched a lot about the subject because we wanted to understand why every time we spoke to people regardless of sexual orientation, our experience and concerns differed. It constantly made us wonder if we were doing something wrong due to being a same-sex male couple. We were alleviated, however, by results of research suggesting that same-sex parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive and healthy environments for their children as well as seeing other same-sex couples going through the same doubts as us.

What is one thing you want people to know about adoption?

You have to be really honest with yourself in understanding how much your life will change once you have children. Obvious point aside, although adoption is a wonderful happening, it is not for everyone.

There are a lot of emotional moments involved, especially if you go to an Adoption Resource Exchange Conferences (AREs) which you will at some point; when you show interest in a child and the agency says you are not the right fit or the opposite, the agency believes you are a fit but you have to decline the possible match, for whatever reason. Some couples get stronger during and after adoption, some do not.

We recommend everyone to participate on the Parent Resources for Information, Development and Education (P.R.I.D.E.) first thing in the process. It is mandatory but, by doing it first, it will give you more insight to find out if you are ready for the process or not. And, again, be honest of how much you can handle specially when stating what type of child you would like.

Adoption is different for everyone; however, every step of the process is worth it once you commit to it. And above all: network, network and network.

What is one thing you want people to know about parenting as a same-sex couple?

In our particular case, we found out that making friends with male gay couples exclusively, who have also adopted and were going through the same concerns, enriched our discussions, providing us with excellent feedback and examples. Furthermore, our children are turning out to become friends as they see each other from time to time.

It is recommended not to second guess or doubt yourself. The voyage of parenting is unique but everyone has a “parent switch” that unbeknownst to you is automatically on when you have a child.

Never give up. Read, advocate and be a voice for adoption.

Be honest and open with your child and above all, with family. You will face many questions from strangers, and most are not pleasant. The moment you adopt you become an educator for the masses. Provide emotional support and tips from what you have learnt to those that are still going to adopt.

Most importantly, your children will always out you to anyone. It is important to be comfortable with yourselves and your sexual orientation.


Interested in Adoption? 

Join us to learn more about adoption and the options availble to you within Ontario: 

  • How to Adopt Webinar | Wednesday May 26th, 7-9PM | Learn More
  • How to Adopt Mississuaga | Monday May 30th, 7-9PM | Learn More

More About Daniel & Silmar

Silmar and Daniel met over twelve years ago while out with their groups of friends. They became instant friends but were unable to connect better because each one was in a different path in life.  They reconnected couple of years later while out with the same groups of friends and have never been apart since. Six years into their relationship they adopted their first son and a year and a half later, they adopted their daughter.  Both Daniel and Silmar’s life commitment relates to taking parenting very seriously. To them, parenting is the perception your child will have through your eyes. The more love and understanding and structure you give, the steadier and positive a child’s perception of the world will be with hopes that they will be able to lead a good life of respect, integrity and family values.


Don't want to miss a post? 

Facebook Twitter


Sign up for our newsletter for news about adoption and adoption related events. 

Sign Up Today!





Email & Social Media Marketing by VerticalResponse

 

If you would like to be a guest blogger, please contact us at info@adoption.on.ca.

Posted: May 17, 2016 at 07:00 AM
By: Communications Coordinator
(0) Comment/s | Categories: Adoptees Guest Blogger Parent Perspective
Today is Children and Youth Care Day!

May 14th is Children and Youth in Care Day. Did you know that the province of Ontario is the legal guardian of more than 6000 Children and Youth in the province?

When young people come into the care system, the Government of Ontario makes a promise to that young person to take care of them. To provide a safe and stable environment in which they can flourish and reach their full potential. Some of these young people find permanency through adoption, but most will lose the support of their Children’s Aid Society as early as 16.

This could mean they no longer have:

  • access to stable housing;
  • support for managing their mental health;
  • a reliable income on which to support themselves;
  • or the ability to graduate high school and move on to post-secondary.

Though today we want Ontario to remember the promise we have made and the challenges that our young people face, we also want to celebrate the contributions of change they bring to Ontario’s community.

Check out some of the youth-created content below!


And then I was adopted...the end?

Written by: Wendy Hayes and Ashley Ash (shown respectively below), young people who have experienced adoption from the child welfare system.

Wendy & AshleyIn Ontario, as many as 1000 adoptions happen for kids from the care system every year. Though adoption often improves the potential outcomes for young people through providing permanency and stability, the trauma we experienced in our lives before adoption, and any mental health challenges or special needs we live with, don’t magically “go away” when our adoptions are finalized.

[Read More]


Youth Network PSA

"You can't know about foster care and adoption, unless you've lived it. Let us tell you."

The Adoption Council of Ontario supports a Youth Network for young people who have experienced adoption. Some of the activities of the Network involve advocacy and awareness efforts developed by its members. This PSA was created by them:


Everyone Deserves a Family - Brody's Video

Brody, a young man who has experienced adoption, created this video as a school project to communicate the importance that family has on our lives. 


"What do you want to be when you grow up?" 

Written by: Ashley, a young person who has experienced adoption out of the care system.

Jessica"What do you want to be when you grow up?". I think I have heard this question about a million times. Its something that you get asked throughout your life. When you're a child, the answers don’t seem to matter because adulthood is so far away. For me I decided when I was six years old. There was nothing that could change my mind, and to this day I still want to be an adoption counselor.

[Read More]


Older Youth Adoption: A Youth Perspective

Written by: Ashley, a young person who has experienced adoption out of the care system.

AshleyI am one of the 5% of almost 7,000 children and youth in our foster care system who was adopted between the ages of 13-18. I met my mother, Elaine when I was 12, the adoption was finalized a year later and I officially was part of my forever family. You often hear the term “forever family”.  It may sound strange, but to me, it encompasses everything an adoptive family is and should be. A foster family is simply not a ‘forever family’.

[Read More]


My REAL Lifebook 

This report, coming out of the 2011 Youth Leaving Care Hearings, was written by young people with experiences in the care system. The purpose of this report was to bring attention to these experiences and seek to improve the outcome of young people leaving care. Several recommendations were provided at the end of this report in order to achieve this goal, and one of those was, declaring May 14th as Children and Youth in Care Day to "...help raise awareness, reduce stigma and recognize children and youth in care. It would also help keep the issues affecting our lives in the public spotlight and provide for regular updates on the Action Plan for Fundamental Change." The six themes covered by this report are; 

  • We are Vulnerable
  • We are Isolated
  • We are left out of our Lives
  • No one is really there for us
  • Care in unpredictable
  • Care ends and we struggle.

Support the ACO to help improve outcomes for
Children and Youth in Care

Invest in Building Family

Donate | Learn More


Don't want to miss a post? 

Facebook Twitter


Sign up for our newsletter for news about adoption and adoption related events. 

Sign Up Today!





Email & Social Media Marketing by VerticalResponse

 

If you would like to be a guest blogger, please contact us at info@adoption.on.ca.

Posted: May 14, 2016 at 10:37 AM
By: Communications Coordinator
(0) Comment/s | Categories: Adoptees Events Opportunities to Give The Family Effect Youth Network
Everyone Deserves a Family - Brody's Video

Tomorrow, May 14th, is Children and Youth in Care Day, a provincial day to bring Ontario’s attention to the children and youth in care. Brody, a young person who has experienced adoption created a video for school that was meant to communicate the importance of family and permanency for young people who are currently in Ontario's systems of care. 


"This piece highlights the importance of family and how a family affects your life. I created this piece in advertising class and the idea behind the piece is that family always has your back.  This is what the hand on the shoulder signifies, that no matter good times, or bad family is always there for you. I decided to not include faces connected to the hands because family can be anybody and that any body can support you and be your family."

Brody Zukerman Schure, age 17.  

Support The Family Effect, Invest in Building Families. 

Invest in Building Family

Donate | Learn More


More From Young People on Children and Youth in Care Day

"Though adoption often improves the potential outcomes for young people through providing permanency and stability, the trauma we experienced in our lives before adoption, and any mental health challenges or special needs we live with, don’t magically “go away” when our adoptions are finalized."

[Read More


Don't want to miss a post? 

Facebook Twitter


Sign up for our newsletter for news about adoption and adoption related events. 

Sign Up Today!





Email & Social Media Marketing by VerticalResponse

 

If you would like to be a guest blogger, please contact us at info@adoption.on.ca.

Posted: May 13, 2016 at 12:00 PM
By: Communications Coordinator
(0) Comment/s | Categories: Events Guest Blogger Opportunities to Give The Family Effect Youth Network
Youth Network PSA

Tomorrow is Children and Youth in Care Day. Did you know that the province of Ontario is the legal guardian of more than 6000 Children and Youth in the province?

"You can't know about foster care and adoption, unless you've lived it. Let us tell you."

But what is it like to live in the foster care system? What is it like to be adopted? It can be a difficult experience to understand, which is why we encourage you to take today to listen. Today, let the voice of Ontario's young people remind you that we have a responsibility to them and to their future. The Adoption Council of Ontario supports a Youth Network for young people who have experienced adoption. Some of the activates of the Network involve advocacy and awareness efforts developed by the young people.

This PSA was created by them:


Support the Adoption Council of Ontario's Youth Network Today

Invest in Building Family

Donate | Learn More


Don't want to miss a post? 

Facebook Twitter


Sign up for our newsletter for news about adoption and adoption related events. 

Sign Up Today!





Email & Social Media Marketing by VerticalResponse

 

If you would like to be a guest blogger, please contact us at info@adoption.on.ca.

Posted: May 13, 2016 at 10:00 AM
By: Communications Coordinator
(0) Comment/s | Categories: Adoptees Events Youth Network

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] > » 

Recent Comments

» Proud of you all
January 21, 2016 at 11:38 AM
By: Nynke
» Proud Momma!
January 7, 2016 at 09:11 AM
By: Carol van der Veer
» So impressed
December 22, 2015 at 01:36 PM
By: Linda N. Karam
» Honored and Proud
December 12, 2015 at 07:37 AM
By: Kim Stevens
» Brilliant Message
December 11, 2015 at 03:14 PM
By: Aviva Zukerman Schure
» This is a beautiful,...
November 24, 2015 at 11:12 PM
By: V
» The Importance of Family
November 4, 2015 at 02:51 PM
By: Elaine Quinn
» Ashley, I am always...
August 3, 2015 at 09:11 AM
By: Kim Stevens
» Thank you so much...
July 27, 2015 at 07:38 PM
By: Aviva ZS
» Thank you
July 27, 2015 at 03:16 PM
By: Cristina

Latest Posts

» Khoya – An Adoption Story
May 27, 2016 at 07:00 AM
» International Day Against Homophobia
May 17, 2016 at 07:00 AM
» Today is Children and Youth Care Day!
May 14, 2016 at 10:37 AM
» Everyone Deserves a Family - Brody's Video
May 13, 2016 at 12:00 PM
» Youth Network PSA
May 13, 2016 at 10:00 AM
RSS Feed | Adoption Blog